Sex Advice for Virgins

The loss of one's virginity is a special event that should be marked with caring, love and appreciation. First-time sex serves as an important, maturing step in a person's life, no matter what age. However, sexual activity does carry risk, such as pregnancy and transmission of STDs.

Significance
Losing one's virginity is one of the most important milestones in a person's life. It marks the change from childhood to adulthood, and is one of the ultimate forms of self-expression. In certain cultures and belief systems, virginity is held as a sacred thing only to be shared with one's spouse. However, most Americans will become sexually active around the age of 16.

For women, especially, this first foray into sexuality is a big step. They face not only increased intimacy and emotional engagement, but the risk of pregnancy. There is also a lot of unnecessary stigma attached to women who choose to explore their sexuality. Young women can find themselves in the middle of a fight between their bodies and society's expectations.

Function
Sex is something to be enjoyed and savored. The first time should be a memorable experience between people that care for each other deeply. Sex serves as not only a physical release, but as a means to connect on the most intimate and private levels of physical existence. Therefore, it serves as a gateway to deeper feelings, discovering one's own sense of passion and a way to show caring.

Becoming sexually active, however, can have drawbacks. Depending on someone's background, sex can cause guilt, shame and anxiety. Physical pleasure can also complicate or gloss over underlying complications in a relationship. Sex, in short, is an experience that can enrich or endanger.

Features
First-time sex is a time of exploration and getting used to new physical sensations. The body has to adjust to fitting together with another using muscles and parts that haven't been used before. Things progress slower the first time, and might not result in orgasm for both parties. Women may have pain or bleeding when the hymen is broken. However, good first-time sex shares many of the same characteristics as other good sex: sharing, appreciation of your partner, pleasure and satisfaction.

Effects
Becoming sexually active will cause changes in a person's life, depending on whether the experience is a positive or negative one. Good sexual activity heightens self-esteem, eases depression, burns calories and increases intimate feelings between two lovers. Negative sex, on the other hand, can bring about opposite reactions including depression, low self-esteem, feelings of victimization and self-blame.

It cannot be stressed enough that people should approach sex from a well-considered standpoint. Sexual pleasure comes naturally; trust the body to give signals as to when things feel right. There should never be any pressure to perform or do anything that feels uncomfortable. The overall impact of sex thoroughly depends on one's approach to their own sexual expression. Trust your internal self, and don't let others dictate your actions.

Misconceptions
Romance novels and popular media have painted the loss of virginity in many ways. The one extreme is that it's amazing and painless, with multiple orgasms from the first moment. At the other end are the naysayers who declare that sexually active people, especially women, are dirty and sluttish. None of this is true. There is no need to feel guilt for enjoying your body. Just do it safely in an environment of trust.

Another false claim about sex is that it will fix problems in a relationship. Very often, sex can actually lead to complications in a relationship rather than improvement. Discuss and communicate with each other about issues before becoming intimate in order to keep things sane and happy.

Virginity isn't the domain of the young. There are many people that choose to remain virgins until their 20s and beyond for a multitude of reasons. People who choose to not have sex aren't any more strange or freakish than those that do. Sex happens at a different point in life for everyone.

Warning
One very important rule about sex is that safe enjoyment is a must. If one is too shy to buy birth control or condoms, then they're not ready for sex. Pregnancy can and does happen with first-time loving, as well as STD transmittal. It is of the utmost importance for both partners to get tested before becoming intimate. With HIV/AIDS out there, there's no second chance to get things right.